为您找到与two storks英语故事阅读 英语笑话相关的共200个结果:
Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy."The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies." A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night. The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"
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学习英语,阅读真的很重要,多阅读一些简单的英语笑话也是提高英语阅读能力的一种,下面读文网小编在这里整理了一些英语笑话故事带翻译给大家,希望大家会喜欢这些英语笑话!
A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.
"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."
最好的奖赏
一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。
“最好的办法,长官,”这名水手说,“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您,他们会把我扔下去的。”
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Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be accepted by the college.
One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."
Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.
At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"
The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."
The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."
杰克霍金斯是美国一所学院的橄榄球队教练,他竭力想物色好球员。但是好球员学业不行,院方不愿录取。
有一天,教练带着一位优秀的年轻球员去见院长,希望院方同意他免试入学。经过一番劝说后院长说:“那我最好先问问他几个问题。”
然后他转向学生,问了几个非常简单的问题。可是那个学生一个也答不上来。
最后院长说:“那么,五乘七得多少?”
学生想了很久,然后回答说:“三十六。”
院长摊开双手失望地看了看教练。可是教练认真地说,“噢,录取他吧,先生。他的答案只比正确答案多二。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的三则经典趣味英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
"The man I marry must be as wise as Solomon,
“我要结婚的对象必须要像所罗门王一样聪明,
as mighty as Hercules,
像赫克力士一样强壮,
as brave as Admiral Nelson,
像纳尔逊上将一样英勇,
and as graceful as Nureyev. "
并和苏联芭蕾舞蹈家诺瑞耶夫一样优雅。”
"How fortunate we met! "
“很幸运能见到你!”
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幽默故事,能让你在信手翻启间开怀一笑,得到身心的彻底放松、心绪的怦然萌动、情感的欣然释放。下面读文网小编为大家带来四则趣味幽默的英语故事,欢迎大家阅读!
Back at my high school for the tenth reunion, I met my old coach. Walking through the gym, we came upon a plaque on which l was still listed as the record holder for the longest softball throw. Noticing my surprise, the coach said, "That record will stand forever."I was about to make some modest disclaimer that records exist to be broken, when he added, "We stopped holding that event years ago."
高中毕业十年以后,我回母校团聚,碰到以前的教练。我们穿过体育馆的时候,看到一块牌匾,上面刻着我的名字,我仍然是垒球投掷量远纪录保持者。注意到我的诧异,老教练说:这个纪录永远不会被打破了。当我刚想谦虚几句说纪录的存在就是为了被打破时,他补充说:“我们几年前就取消这项比赛了。”
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许多人从幼儿园就开始接触英语,这个时候多阅读一些英语故事是很有好处的,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享一些幼儿园英语故事,欢迎大家阅读!
A Clever Panda
聪明的熊猫
A little panda picks up a pumpkin and wants to take it home. But the pumpkin is too big. The panda can’t take it home.
一只小熊猫摘了一只大南瓜,想把它拿回家。但是这只南瓜太大了,她没有办法把这么大的南瓜带回家。
Suddenly she sees a bear riding a bike toward her. She watches the bike. “I know! I have a good idea.” she jumps and shouts happily, “I can roll a pumpkin. It’s like awheel.”
突然她看见一只狗熊骑着一辆自行车朝她这边来。她看着自行车,跳着说:“有了!我有办法了。我可以把南瓜滚回家去。南瓜好像车轮。
So she rolls the pumpkin to her home. When her mother sees the big pumpkin, she is surprised, “Oh, my God! How can you carry it home?” the little panda answers proudly, “I can’t lift it, but I can roll it.” Her mother smiled and says,“What a clever girl!”
于是她把那瓜滚回家。当她妈妈看到这只大南瓜的时候,很惊讶:“天啊!这么食的南瓜!你是怎么把它带回家来的?”小熊猫自豪地说;“我拎不动它,可是我能滚动它啊!”她妈妈微笑着说:“真聪明啊!”
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语故事四则,希望大家喜欢!
On their first evening in their new home the bride went in to the kitchen to fix drinks. Five minutes later she came back into the living一room in tears.
在他们成家的头一天晚上,新娘子到厨房去弄点喝的。五分钟后她哭春回到了起居室。
"What’s the matter, my angel'?" asked her husband anxiously.
“我的天使,你怎么了?”丈夫着急地问。
"Oh,Derek!” she sobbed. "I put the ice一cubes in hot water to wash them and now they've disappeared!”
“噢,得里克!”她哭着说,“我把冰块放在热水里洗一洗,可现在它们不见了。”
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来生活幽默英语故事三则,希望大家喜欢!
A silvedess mon goes fast ihrough the market.
身上无钱,市场疾行
There once was a rich man who was near deeth. He wru very grieved because he had worked so hard for his numey. So he began to pray Lhat he rmght he ahle to take some of his weakh with him.
曾经有一个富人快要死了,他租伤心,因为为了钱他才拼命工作,他想把钱带着一起上天堂,因此他开始祈祷恳求他能随身带一些财产.
A:Sorry,but you car't take your wealth with you.
对不起.你不能带走财产。
B:Could you speakto Cod to see if he might hend the rules?
你跟上帝说说情吧,看能否网开一面?
(Then he continue to pray his wealth could follow him,and the angel reappears.)
他继续祈祷能带上财产,天使又出现了。
A:The Cod has decided to allow you to take one suitcase with yourself.
上帝允许你随身带一个手提箱。
(Overjoyed.the man gaLhers his largest suitcase and fills it,with pure gold bar s and places it beside his hed.Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Catea of Heaven to greet St.Peter. Peter sees the suit-case.
富人欣喜若狂,拿了他最大的手提箱,里面装满了金条,然后放在床边。不久这个富人死了,出现在天堂门口向圣彼得致意。圣棱得看到了那只手提箱。)
C:Hold on. you can't bnng thatin here!
放下,你不能把那东西带到这儿来。
B:But I have pennjssion and you can verify ny stcuy with the Lord.
但是我已经得到丁许可,你可以到上帝那儿证实一下。
C:You are rigt.You are allowed orie carry-on hag. Bm i'm supposed to check it's contents before letting through.
没错,你可以带一只手提箱,但我要检查一下里面是什么东西才能放行。
B:OK.
好的。
(Then he opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found to precious to leave behind.
于是圣彼得打开手提箱检查那位富人舍不得留在尘世间的宝贝。)
C:You bought our pavement?!
你把我们这儿铺地砖带来了?!
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来生活幽默英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
(A man walked into a doctor's examining room一个人走进一家诊所。)
A:Put out your tongue.
伸出你的舌头。
B:OK.
好的。
(Then he put out his tongue and the doctor looked at it quickly.
于是他伸出舌头,医生很快地看了一下。)
A:You can put your tongue back now. It's clear what's wrong with you.You need more exercise.
好吧,把舌头伸回去吧,你的病因很明显,你需要更多的运动。
B:But,doctor, I don't think...
但是,医生,我不认为……。
A:Don't tell me what you think,I am the doctor,not you,I know what you need.I see hundreds of people like you.None of them get any exercis e.They sit in offices all day and in front of the television in the evening.What you need is to walk quickly for at least twenty mi-nutes a day.
不要告诉我你认为怎么样,我是医生,不是你。我知道你需要什么。我看过数以百计像你这样的病人。他们没有一个人锻炼过。他们整天坐在办公室里,晚上就坐在电视机前。你所需要的就是每天至少快跑20分钟。
B:Doctor.you don't understand.I...
医生,你不知道,我……
A:I don't want to hear any excuses. You must find time for exercise.If you don't,you will get fat and have health problems when you are o1der.
我不想听任何理由。你应该抽出时间来运动,如果你不锻炼,那么当你老的时候,你就会变得很胖,并且有健康问题。
B:But I walk everyday.
但我每天都走路的。
A:Oh,yes,and I know what kind of walking that is. You walk a few feet from your home to the station,and a few more feet from the sta- lion to your office,and a few more feet fr om your office to a restaurant for much and back. That's not real walking. I'm talking about a walk in the park for twenty minutes every day.
喔,是的。我知道那是一种怎样的散步,你走几英尺的路,从家到火车站,又走几英尺从车站到办公室,然后走几英尺从办公室到餐馆中吃中饭再回来。那不是真正的散步。我所说的是每天在公园中散步20分钟。
B:(Shouting)Will you listen to me. doctor t I am a mailman and I walk for seven hour every day.
(叫喊着)请听我说,医生!我是一名邮递员,我每天得走7小时的路。
A:(Being silent for a moment) Put your tongue out again,will you?
(闷在那里半天不语)再把你的舌头伸出来,行吗?
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味英语小故事阅读,欢迎大家阅读!
One semester when my brother, Peter,attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis,an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a class.assignment. Peter agreed,and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.
我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索达大学上学时,有一个学期,他的一位学艺术的朋友问他是否可以用他做素描的模特作为课堂作业。彼得同意了。那位艺术生画完了,就把肖像交给了老师。他只得了一个C-.
The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.”The head is too big,”the professor explained.”The shoulders are too wide, and the feet are enormous."
那位艺术生找到教授问为什么他的分数这么低。教授告诉他肖像中的比例失调,教授说:“脑袋太大,肩太宽,脚也过于大了。”
The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said.
第二天,那位艺术生带彼得见教授,教授看了我兄弟一眼,并说:“好,可以得A-。”
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一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享一些经典幽默英语小故事阅读,欢迎大家阅读!
Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”
“Ten.” Jim says.
“Then,” Mother asks.
“Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn?t it right?”
故事2 十块糖
妈妈问儿子:“吉姆, 如果你有10块糖,吃了4块,那你还有几块糖?” “10块。”吉姆说。
“10块?”妈妈问。
“是的,妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面,6块在肚子外面,4加6等于10,不对吗?”
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典爆笑英语小故事四则,欢迎大家阅读!
When we work evenings .we often order take-out food at the office.One night we all gave our orders to Sharon, who wrote the selections on a self-stick note. Unable to find our list when she arrived at the fastfood restaurant, Sharon stepped up to the counter. But before she could speak, the cashier recited the exact order. " How could you possibly know that?"asked Sharon.
在我晚上上夜班的办公室,大家常常订些外卖食品来吃。一天夜里,我们都找沙伦订了食品。她把订单列在一张不干胶的纸条上。等她到了饭店时,怎么也找不到那张订单了。沙伦走到柜台前,还没等她说话,收银员就背出了所有大家订的东西。沙伦问:“你怎么会知道这些的呢?”
"Tt's right there," replied the cashier,"stuck to your chest."
“它就在这儿,”收银页说:“贴在了你的胸前。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味幽默英语小故事阅读,欢迎大家阅读!
A: Which do you find more important, money or friends?
B: Friends, of course.
A: Why?
B: I can always borrow money from friends.
甲:你认为钱和朋友哪一个更重要?
乙:当然是朋友。
甲:为什么?
乙:我总可以从朋友那儿借到钱。
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一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享一些初中英语幽默故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.
"How can I help you?" asked the stylist.
"I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I will pay you $5000."
"No problem," said the stylist, and she quickly shaved her head.
一个秃头的人在一家美容店里坐了下来。
“您需要什么服务呢?”美容师问。
“我以前做过头发移植,”这个人解释道,“可是我忍受不了疼痛。假如你可以让我的头发像你的一样,却又不会给我带来什么不舒服的感觉,我就给你5000美圆。”
“没问题,”美容师说,于是,她很快剃光了自己的头发。
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一些有趣的英语故事,能够吸引少儿阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享一些少儿英语简短小故事,欢迎大家阅读!
Jake was always sick. He repeatedly got infections—mostly colds or the flu—from patients. He considered himself lucky to be alive, considering what he’d read about deadly bacteria and viruses that were developing immunity to all the latest drugs. A hospital is a dangerous place. He wanted out of the hospital, but he had nowhere to go. He was no spring chicken. The pay, benefits, and hours were good. His schedule regularly included three- or four-day weekends.
But, he was just going through the same motions, day after day. He was at the top of the ladder for an orderly. There were no other jobs that he could qualify for, unless he wanted to go to school for several years to become a tech or a registered nurse. But those jobs would mean working in a hospital. He wanted out.
He wished he had stayed with his old job as an assistant pro at Brookside Golf Course. The pay was low and the benefits were few, but the game of golf was his passion. He loved teaching the game to others. He was a happy man when he worked at the golf course—the freshly mowed green grass, the blue sky, the white clouds. Not a sick person in sight—only healthy people, enjoying themselves. Why had he quit that job, he wondered over and over. Ten years ago, he must have had a good reason, but he sure couldn’t remember what it was now. His life was now a constant regret about the poorest decision he had ever made.
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